Scared

woman
you best know that this
is shit

if you believe this
you're lying in a huge
puddle of lies

you are pretty
you are wanted
you are loved
you are desired
you are envied
you are stunning

you're just you
and that's all you'll ever be
and that's a good thing
don't be someone else

i don't want to be friends
with anyone but you

stop waiting for rejection
from boys
from teachers
from friends
from everyone

you'll be waiting for
the rest of your life

alone
scared
miserable
self loathing

if that's who you want to be
leave me out

cause i'm just me
and that's all i'll ever be
and the me that i am
knows that her best friend
is not who she thinks she is

so stop wallowing in self pity
get up off your ass
and be phenomenal

oh
wait

you already are

Writer's block
doesn't help
when you want to say something
but don't know how to say it
it's like the words
are on the tip of your tongue
almost afraid
to shine,
let loose,
and break through that hard set of teeth
But I guess that's just a metephore
to how I am
wanting to say or do something,
but afraid to shine,
let loose,
and break through that hard outer edge
of fright
Writer's Block
is nothing more
than words being afraid
to shine,
let loose,
and break through that hard set of teeth
all they need, is time
time to figure out
when the right time is,
to talk

"Oh say, can you see
by the dawn's earl..."
(oh, my gosh! the mic isn't working!)
"Oh say, can you see
by..."
(It shut off again!)
"Oh say, can you see
By the..."
(they're gonna make me sing in front
of the whole
Baseball team now!)
-
Shakily walking out
Scared to death of screwing up
I stop and look
Everyone is standing there on the foul lines
looking at ME!
-
(loudly)
-
"Oh say, can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed
at the twilight's last gleaming
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
thru the parilous fight
O'er the ramparts we watched"
-
(I think someone is laughing...)
-
"were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare,
the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there."
-
(darn I hope my voice doesn't start cracking)
-
"Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free
and the home of the brave?"
-
(Hey! They're claping! They heard me! Yeay!)
-
--walking off the feild--
-
(hope the mic works next time)

i can't take it
can't take it anymore
the monotony
of everyday
where nothing
nothing happens

the same bland people
telling the same jokes
I hate them, I think.

the same stupid school
leaves me feeling
like an idiot
even though I know it's everyone else

I'm going crazy, I think.
it's hard
I can't do it

and if I can't make it
here
than what says I can
anywhere else?

I'm scared
scared that I'll amount
only to nothing
become a nothing
like most people here
who think they're something
but they're nothing
those stupid
horrible
nothings
I don't wanna be a
nothing.

i need to get out
get out
get out of this place

but will they let me leave?
could I even leave?

it's just pointless
so why should I care anymore?

I know
that I'm stupid
and that I couldn't survive
anywhere else
but I'd rather be anywhere
anywhere than here.

I have to get out of here
I've never felt like this before
I feel like I'm going to fall apart
In shattered pieces
I would rather hurt myself
Than hurt you
So I must leave you alone
Get away from you
I just hurt so much
I want to cry
But i don't want people to know
My pain or sadness
I wish I never started this
I want to get out of here
To run away
I'm scared
I feel,

...
Babbit is scaring me
...
*crash*
...
S-somebody, help me, pl-
...
*thud*
...
*silence*
...

.....
Babit's beginning to scare me
.....

A great day at your friend’s house
Getting late
A long walk home
Leisurely pace, still some light
Getting darker
Walking faster
Breezy, trees swaying, bushes rustling
Was that a twig snapping?
Imagination going wild
Scared to death, will the ghosts come for me?
Running now
Little window of light
Through the door
Oh so incredibly happy
Safe at home
Time for bed

There is pain.
The pain of not knowing.
Caring
But not seeing.
Darkness
That shrouds you
In the blackness
That kills you inside.
You heart aches
With wanting,
Needing,
More that anything,
To know what happened,
But there is only
Silence.

Nobody speaks.
Nobody listens
As you call out,
Drowning in this black shroud
That is keeping you blank
And this wanting,
This needing,

I'm trying a different genre of writing, and I'm not sure if this story is any good, so any tips would be wonderful. I really need to know if I should just go back to my usual realistic fiction or if I could handle action. This is just a beginning, so it may not make any sense, but I'm trying:

I ran and ran until I could run no more. He was after me. I just knew it. He figured out my secret and he was going to get me for it. He was going to make me pay. And that scared me. He scared me. He was scary. I could not live like this, I knew. I could not live my life always wondering if someone was ever going to figure out what I was. When I was younger, I wondered why I never got hurt or why I never sweat. I finally got the answers on my thirteenth birthday.