The things we carry inside us

Aurora had never liked group 'bonding' activities. All they meant is that you have to let others get close to you, or tell others things that you'd rather keep secret. And Aurora had never been good at that. She tended to shrink away from people who tried to reach out to her, scared that they would find out of all the secrets, the worried, anxious feelings that swarmed through her brain and soul. So a week earlier, when her teacher announced that they would be going on a team bonding hike, she was not excited. But at least, she figured, it wouldn't be as bad as having to tell other people about herself. And so on the following Tuesday she found herself walking up a steep mountain trail with a large group of rowdy 7th graders. She stumbled over rocks and roots, all the while worrying about the warnings her teachers had given her class, about bears, cougars, coyotes- you name it. The biggest warning the class had been given, however, was to never stray from the group. Aurora always followed the rules, and was prone to get stressed and anxious over small things, things that most people wouldn't give a second thought. Like the time one of her schoolmates, back in kindergarten, had stomped on a moth. All the other kids were laughing, not caring one bit, while all Aurora could think about was that the poor moth had had no warning, no chance to flee before its life was taken. No chance to live its life. And so her teachers were quite surprised, as Aurora was usually very quiet, when she yelled at the boy who had killed the moth, and then hurriedly ran away, into the forest. It had taken hours for the teachers to find her, and when they did, they had found her curled up at the base of a tree, silently weeping. It was still this way now, and one small thing could release a flood of angry, sad emotions in Aurora. And sometimes she just felt sad, for no apparent reason at all. And unfortunately, it was just that that happened on the hike. Aurora was at the back of the group, trudging along, when suddenly a wave of strong emotions came over her, and she couldn't take another step. She collapsed on the side of the trail, weeping. But no one noticed. And inside, the terrible thoughts that came over Aurora in times like this took over. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why are you even sad? You shoudn't be. There's no reason to. And look, the others didn't even notice you were missing. They don't care about you. You're just stupid, stupid. No one should care about you. You don't deserve it. So, so stupid." Aurora couldn't stop thinking, couldn't stop crying. But somehow, through her haze of sadness and tears, she managed to get up, knowing that she had to stay with the group. She stumbled forward, not noticing that she had gone off the trail until it was too late, and she found herself alone, with no sense of where she was or what direction to go. The tears took over once again, and her own quiet sobs lulled her to sleep.
When she woke again, night had fallen. And she was scared. So, so scared. She got up, and walked through the dark forest, as if in a trance. She was lost. It was night. There were wild animals. She had no food, no water. She was going to die. Despite this realization, she continued on, but finally, after walking for what seemed like hours, she could no longer continue moving. She sat down against a tree, its form a shadow in the moonlight. Aurora looked up at the stars, comforted by the fact that at least, if she was going to die, she'd die seeing something beautiful. And that's when she heard the voice. "You're not going to die, little fawn." Aurora jumped to her feet. "W-who was that?" 
"Someone who will guide you home, if you wish." The moonlight shone through the branches above to reveal... 
"You're a... deer?!" Aurora exclaimed. Maybe she should've felt scared, with talking animals and such, but all she felt, now that this doe was here, was love, and happiness, radiating deep into her soul. 
"Come with me. I want to show you something," replied the doe. Aurora followed her through the wood, until they came to a clearing. And there, in the dim light, she saw does and their fawns everywhere, lying under the tall Spruce trees next to a rushing waterfall, the stars peeking through the branches.
"This is a special place. It is the place where does and their fawns have come for generations, to live and grow. This is our sanctuary." 
"It's... it's beautiful," Aurora responded.
"Sadness is a thing that runs deep into the soul of all animals, including yourself. But it is a thing that we need, for if we had no sadness, we would be emotionless, terrible things. It is alright to feel sad, and even angry. As long as we can learn to control those emotions, to make ourselves and others happy."
"But... how?" Aurora asked, knowing that what the doe said was true.
"For all people and animals, it is different. But for me, when I feel sad, I think of the place where my heart and soul live. The place that makes me truly happy. And that is the very place that we are now. It makes everything seem right again. And if you don't know what makes you happy, you will find it. That I know. And I also know that you must learn to let others love you, and to, most importantly, love yourself."
Aurora could feel the truth and love put into these words. 
"Now come, little one. Let me bring you home," the doe said.
And with that, the doe slowly walked away, Aurora following close behind.
She didn't realize how much time had passed in those moments, but soon enough, it started to get lighter, and suddenly the doe and Aurora came to a break in the trees.
"Go through here, and you will find the people who love and care for you," the doe said.
"But what about you?" Aurora asked.
"This is my home. I must stay here,'' replied the doe. 
"Thank you," said Aurora.
"I will always help the lost to find their home," The doe replied, and walked back into the woods.But what she had told Aurora, and the love and peace that she had brought with those words di not leave with the doe. Aurora would forever remember her. She knew it was time to go, and so she walked out of the trees, and into the loving arms of her family.
"Oh Aurora, baby, we love you," her parents told her. "Are you okay?"
"I am now," replied Aurora. Because she knew that she was, and that, not only had the deer guided her home in the world, she had guided her home in her heart.
 

wildcat

VT

14 years old

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